beverage advice

if you want to drink one of these:



then don't pour this into your glass:



that is all.

B is for BYOB

we tried to go out to a bar for a friends birthday a few weeks ago. the bartender was super cool and nice, but he kicked us out. well, actually, he kicked out this guy here (apparently he's not "of drinking age" or something):

This is my son. You may not have him.

Getting kicked out got me thinking and reminiscing about Hoboken, NJ, where Wife and I met. It was very hard to come by a liquor license in Hoboken ("the birth place of baseball and Frank Sinatra"). From wikipedia: Hoboken was once known as the city with "a bar on every corner" and in fact was once listed in the Guiness Book of World Records as the city with "Most bars in a square mile". There were well over 200 bars in town in the first half of the 20th century. There are still well over 100 now. Hoboken limits by law the number of liquor licenses to the number of blocks and the limit is usually reached. Additionally, no license can be moved to within 200 feet of another bar or 500 feet from a church, which makes it nearly impossible to open a new bar (except in newly renovated perimeter regions of the city).

It's no surprise that running a restaurant is a business with a very thin profit margin. Combine that with the... uh, interesting rules about the liquor licenses in Hoboken... created a really cool thing in that little city: BYOB. Lots and lots and lots of restaurants (basically all those that couldn't get a liquor license) would let you bring your own. And they wouldn't care what you brought! bottle of wine? bring it! six pack of beer? bring it! bottle of vodka & 1 liter of sprite? bring it!

it made it totally fun - and different! - to go out to eat. we used to stop by any of the numerous places to pick up beer, wine, or hard alcohol, then . . .

go to zafra, the cuban place, and get their awesome empanadas & yucca fries. we'd bring a bottle of red wine and they'd make us some fresh sangria! and yes, the two of us would finish the bottle, every time, no doubt.

how about picking up some chimay and hitting the chinese food place? the best chinese food ever at Precious on washington street.

or a bottle of red and grab some indian food? the options were nearly endless.

we should focus some future post on the sham businesses in Hoboken that were considered mob fronts. or more posts on the food there! or the drinking! or the hubbub about saint patty's day! many options await.

Whisky!

today we bring you a family favorite and big hit at parties - our house whiskey. you don't actually make the whiskey... this is really one of those "take some whiskey and make it better" type of things. enjoy!


McG family recipe – Sweet & Spicy Whisky

Ingredients
· cheap whisky (after trying several I've settled on Black Velvet as my default )
· 1 cinnamon stick
· 2 vanilla beans
· regular honey

Other stuff you’ll need
· a funnel
· 2 quart size mason jars
· a glass measuring cup
· a coffee filter (a strainer can do in a pinch)

Process
first, taste the whisky – it’s important that you have a feel for what your base is. a tablespoon is probably enough.
· drop the cinnamon stick into the bottle of whisky
· wait 2 days, shake it up, then taste the whisky. the cinnamon will need to be in there for 2-6 days depending on how fresh/potent your cinnamon is & your personal taste. you’ll know that “it’s done” when you can clearly taste the cinnamon – it should add depth and spice.
· don’t rush! the process is half the fun.
· when the cinnamon essence is properly represented in the whisky, pour the entire bottle equally into your 2 mason jars. remove the cinnamon & discard.

now it’s time to add vanilla!

· Here’s a quick primer on how to prepare vanilla (from Official McG Family Vanilla Bean Supplier - they have a store on eBay)
· split the bean as described, scrape out the caviar, then dump the caviar and the bean pod into your mason jar, one bean per jar. don’t chop up the bean pod as described in the tutorial - you want the bean pod in large pieces for easy removal later.
· shake the jars. shake ‘em! every day until you pull the vanilla, shake the jars.
· just like the cinnamon, now it’s time to wait & taste. it will probably be 2-7 days depending on the freshness of your vanilla beans.
· make sure to shake the jars before tasting - a teaspoon is probably enough to taste.
· you’ll know it’s done when you can clearly taste the vanilla – it should add flavor and your whisky should taste smoother.

you’ll need to filter the debris at this point.
· shake your jars up - then pour the whisky from your mason jars back into the bottle it came in. after you spill all over the counter you’ll remember that a funnel is listed above.
· even if you don't drink coffee, having a reusable filter in your house can come in quite handy at times like these. there's also an advantage to not chopping up the vanilla bean pod - it should be easy to pull that out.
· note that the more you filter the more clear your fluid will be. if you don't mind little vanilla bean flecks in the whisky then minimal filtering is required – just yank out the chunks.
· note, however, that flecks mean that you have to shake it up before you pour since the flecks will settle to the bottom.
· if you filter through a re-usable coffee filter there will probably be some flecks. if you use a paper filter there will probably be very few flecks. your call.

all right, home stretch! next we gotta incorporate the honey
· pour three or four ounces of whisky into your measuring cup. add *only a little bit* of honey, say 1/2 shot glass per 1 liter of whisky.

· you can always add more later, but if you add too much then it will be way too sweet.
· put your measuring cup into the microwave and heat the bejeesus out of the whisky/honey.
· after a minute, take it out every 30 seconds or so and stir it up.
· you want it to get hot enough that *every bit* of that honey incorporates into the whisky. this might take a couple minutes - don't rush it.
· if you don't get the honey hot enough at this point then it won't fully be incorporated into your beverage & it will settle at the bottom of the bottle - so you'll have to shake before pouring - then it will settle at the bottom of the glass. you don't want whisky with a honey caboose - you want equal parts honey throughout the whole thing. so, like I said, heat the bejeesus out of it.
· pour your honey-ized whiskey back into your bottle, shake it, and taste.
· depending on how heavy handed you were with the honey, you may need to add more.
· if you think that you didn't add enough honey, PLEASE wait a day or two and taste it again before adding more. the longer the flavors chill out together the more they work together, and you might taste more honey on Friday than you did on Tuesday.
· if you accidentally go overboard with the honey, go out and buy another bottle of cheap whisky, then mix up the two bottles. you will probably be good at that point.

when complete there should be a lot happening in your mouth when you taste … it should be equal parts warm, spicy, sweet, and mellow. it should taste really yummy and should barely resemble the cheap garbage you started out with.
· I drink this straight but it’s also an excellent mixer. and it’s great in tea. or over ice cream! on toast! with oatmeal! you get the picture.
· you can keep this in the container it came from the store in and/or bottle it up and give it away.

for your bottle needs check out the McG Endorsed Bottle Vendor

enjoy!

P is for Polident

there's no equation where I thought I'd be purchasing denture cleaner at my age. I mean, seriously, I still have over HALF my teeth! but this stuff rocks, if you know what to use it for.

awhile ago Wife and I were in the thrift store and found some wicked cool old booze bottles, so we picked them up (naturally). unfortunately, they were funky. super funky. nope, the dishwasher didn't help (I know! very disappointing).

so there they sat, atop our kitchen cabinets.

for a year.

when it was time for us to move they got packed, then unpacked at the new place... which is super annoying. I can't fucking stand storing shit that I don't use. it takes up valuable storage space and it's always in the way when I'm trying to find whatever it is that I'm actually trying to find. it seriously pisses me off. I was vaguely determined to do something about it. which meant that I assigned some future date that if on that date we still had the bottles and they still were not being used then I'd donate them back to goodwill. ashes to ashes, dust to dust, thrift store to thrift store.

time passed and I was reading Ready Made, which used to be a fantastic publication, and there was a tip in there about rescuing old bottles. maybe it was Real Simple. I don't know. I don't know! sigh. bottles! bottles and how to clean them.

how to clean a bottle that is funky: fill it full of hot water, drop in a denture tablet, wait overnight, rinse. that is all. your bottle is as good as new. this also works well for nalgene-type water bottles and coffee pots and thermoses and the like.

the best part is that I purchased my first box of denture tabs over six months ago and I'm still not done with that little box. and it was like three bux at the drug store! fantastic value.

the weirdest part - and I don't think this is bad, per se, just ... you know... not what I was expecting - is that the denture tabs smell like toothpaste. I guess that makes sense, considering their intended use and everything, but I was really surprised at the smell. I'm a tom's of maine fan, so I don't exactly consider the smell of crest to be an overwhelmingly positive thing... but whatever, it cleans my bottles and I likes it!

any dish that comes home from the thrift store gets "polidented", believe it. and yes, we occasionally buy dish ware from the thrift store. I'd recommend you do it too - I mean, you'd be a fool not to - but frankly, I don't want the competition. continue shopping at pottery barn, suckers.

and two thumbs up for denture tabs!

bartender, i'll have a boob juice, neat.

Read me:
http://www.alphamom.com/wonderland/2007/11/breast_milk_or_alcohol_which_i.php

I think I am actually more confused. But it was a fun read was it not?