P is for Polident

there's no equation where I thought I'd be purchasing denture cleaner at my age. I mean, seriously, I still have over HALF my teeth! but this stuff rocks, if you know what to use it for.

awhile ago Wife and I were in the thrift store and found some wicked cool old booze bottles, so we picked them up (naturally). unfortunately, they were funky. super funky. nope, the dishwasher didn't help (I know! very disappointing).

so there they sat, atop our kitchen cabinets.

for a year.

when it was time for us to move they got packed, then unpacked at the new place... which is super annoying. I can't fucking stand storing shit that I don't use. it takes up valuable storage space and it's always in the way when I'm trying to find whatever it is that I'm actually trying to find. it seriously pisses me off. I was vaguely determined to do something about it. which meant that I assigned some future date that if on that date we still had the bottles and they still were not being used then I'd donate them back to goodwill. ashes to ashes, dust to dust, thrift store to thrift store.

time passed and I was reading Ready Made, which used to be a fantastic publication, and there was a tip in there about rescuing old bottles. maybe it was Real Simple. I don't know. I don't know! sigh. bottles! bottles and how to clean them.

how to clean a bottle that is funky: fill it full of hot water, drop in a denture tablet, wait overnight, rinse. that is all. your bottle is as good as new. this also works well for nalgene-type water bottles and coffee pots and thermoses and the like.

the best part is that I purchased my first box of denture tabs over six months ago and I'm still not done with that little box. and it was like three bux at the drug store! fantastic value.

the weirdest part - and I don't think this is bad, per se, just ... you know... not what I was expecting - is that the denture tabs smell like toothpaste. I guess that makes sense, considering their intended use and everything, but I was really surprised at the smell. I'm a tom's of maine fan, so I don't exactly consider the smell of crest to be an overwhelmingly positive thing... but whatever, it cleans my bottles and I likes it!

any dish that comes home from the thrift store gets "polidented", believe it. and yes, we occasionally buy dish ware from the thrift store. I'd recommend you do it too - I mean, you'd be a fool not to - but frankly, I don't want the competition. continue shopping at pottery barn, suckers.

and two thumbs up for denture tabs!